this few days i;ve not being smiling like i usually do.
guess what i've been doing? answer: crying.
you will be thinking why will i freaking cry.
answer: i don't know, i feel something missing yet
i do not know how to define it.

crying didn't make me feel better as what my counselor
said. actually it make me feel weaker than ever.
other than when i was just a baby, i've never cried
this much before. i'm a girl who dislike crying in front
of others and guess what recently i keep on crying in the
public. even when i'm alone on buses or train. tears just
can't stop streaming down my cheeks. i have to hide my face
away in order not for others to see that i'm crying.

putting up this strong front is tiring. i want a shoulder to lie
on. yet is he ready to accept me wholeheartedly?
answer: he don't know. i'm the one who made this relationship
turned sour this my retribution.

all i have in mind now is to have myself to stop crying.